The picture I have painted
Of a cat with lime green eyes:
A gold and white striped tabby.
Will it win the Turner prize?
Each year i have submitted
To the Royal Academy
This rare delightful image
Given absolutely free!

They praise dear Tracey Emin
For her unmade bed.
Then ban my lovely feline.
Does he look much too well fed?
And why choose David Hockney
And other arty folk?
My cat is so beautiful.
He’s real enough to stroke!

I worked all day to paint him.
London’s art world seems unjust.
Most painters only do it
Because we feel we must.
Our motive is not money.
The work would lose its charm.
I wish they’d hang my painting
With a burglar alarm,

In a well known gallery
For people to admire
Then I will stop complaining
And happily retire!


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